When the Body Remembers: Understanding the Connection Between Our Emotions, Mind and Body with Brainspotting & Somatic Therapy
Why understanding our feelings sometimes involves listening to what our bodies are telling us.
Have you ever noticed how your body responds to something before you've had time to understand what you're feeling?
Perhaps your stomach tightens during a difficult conversation, your shoulders become tense when you're feeling overwhelmed, or your heart begins to race in a situation that reminds you of something uncomfortable from the past.
Sometimes these responses seem to appear without any obvious explanation. We might tell ourselves that everything is fine, yet our bodies seem to be communicating something quite different.
This is because our emotional experiences are not confined to our thoughts. Our minds and bodies are closely connected, and the experiences we have throughout our lives can influence how we feel, respond and relate to the world around us.
When Past Experiences Continue to Affect Us
Difficult experiences, particularly those involving fear, uncertainty, rejection, loss or trauma, can leave a lasting impression on us.
Even when an experience is long behind us, certain situations may bring back familiar emotional and physical responses. We might find ourselves becoming anxious, defensive, withdrawn or unusually upset without fully understanding why.
For example, someone who grew up in an environment where conflict felt unpredictable might notice that, as an adult, even a relatively minor disagreement causes considerable anxiety. They may find themselves wanting to withdraw, apologise quickly or avoid expressing how they really feel.
Although they understand intellectually that the present situation is different, their body's response may still reflect an earlier experience of feeling unsafe.
These responses are not necessarily conscious choices. They may be patterns that have developed over time as ways of coping with emotionally difficult circumstances.
Understanding this can help us begin to approach ourselves with greater compassion, rather than frustration or self-criticism.
Can Our Bodies Hold Emotional Experiences?
We sometimes hear people describe trauma or emotional distress as being "stored in the body".
Although this is a useful way of describing the experience, it doesn't mean that our muscles or other tissues literally store memories. Rather, difficult experiences can influence how our nervous system responds to stress, how we recognise danger and how we experience physical sensations.
For some people, this may involve:
Persistent muscle tension or difficulty relaxing.
Feeling constantly alert or anticipating something going wrong.
Physical sensations of anxiety without an obvious cause.
Feeling emotionally overwhelmed or disconnected.
Becoming unusually sensitive to conflict, criticism or rejection.
Finding it difficult to feel safe, even in supportive relationships.
These experiences can have many possible explanations, including physical health conditions, and do not automatically indicate unresolved trauma.
However, recognising the connection between our emotional and physical experiences can offer another way of understanding ourselves.
What Is Brainspotting?
One therapeutic approach that explores this connection is known as Brainspotting.
Brainspotting involves using particular positions within a person's visual field while paying attention to the feelings, memories or bodily sensations that arise. The approach proposes that certain eye positions may be associated with emotionally significant experiences.
Rather than concentrating entirely on talking through an experience, clients are encouraged to notice what is happening internally, with the support of a therapist.
For some people, this may provide a different way of exploring feelings that are difficult to put into words.
Its emphasis on noticing the relationship between emotional experience and physical awareness raises an interesting question: how much of what we experience emotionally are we able to tap into and recognise through our bodies?
A Person-Centred Understanding of the Mind–Body Connection
From a person-centred counselling perspective, emotional experiences are understood as part of the whole person, rather than something that exists separately from our physical selves.
Carl Rogers recognised the importance of our immediate, lived experience and the ways in which we can become disconnected from aspects of ourselves that feel difficult or unacceptable.
Over time, we may learn to minimise certain feelings, disregard our own needs or suppress emotional responses because of what we have experienced in relationships with others.
Perhaps we learned that expressing anger was unacceptable, that showing sadness made us vulnerable, or that our needs were less important than those of the people around us.
Although we may become skilled at putting these feelings aside, the emotional impact of our experiences may still influence how we respond to situations and relationships.
Person-centred counselling offers a relationship in which these experiences can gradually be explored without judgement or pressure.
There is no expectation that a person must revisit painful memories before they feel ready, or that they should experience emotions in a particular way.
Sometimes, simply becoming aware of a physical sensation alongside an emerging feeling can offer valuable insight.
A tightness in the chest might accompany sadness. A feeling of unease may arise when discussing a particular relationship. Or a person may gradually recognise that the exhaustion they have been experiencing is connected with continually trying to meet other people's expectations.
These moments of awareness can help us develop a deeper understanding of ourselves.
Learning to Listen to Ourselves
One of the difficulties we sometimes experience is that we've become accustomed to overriding what we feel.
We tell ourselves to carry on, not to overreact, or that something shouldn't bother us as much as it does.
Yet our emotional responses often deserve curiosity rather than criticism.
Becoming more aware of the connection between our thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations doesn't mean analysing every physical reaction or assuming everything has a psychological cause.
Instead, it can involve gently asking ourselves:
What am I feeling in this moment?
What might I need right now that I haven't been allowing myself to acknowledge?
How Brainspotting with Somatic Counselling Can Help
When we feel genuinely listened to, accepted and understood, it can become easier to explore aspects of ourselves that we may have kept hidden, even from ourselves.
Our bodies and emotions are not separate parts of who we are. Both can contribute to how we understand ourselves, our experiences and our relationships. And sometimes, learning to listen to ourselves is an important part of finding a way forward.
At Personal Counselling Services, I offer a warm, confidential and non-judgemental space where we can, if you choose, introduce some of the techniques this method can offer into your counselling sessions with me as your trained BSPUK Brainspotting theapist. This method can be used for trauma, chronic anxiety, overwhelming emotional distress, and lasting effects of past experiences, giving you an opportunity to develop greater understanding and self-acceptance.
I offer a free 30-minute initial consultation, giving us an opportunity to talk about what has brought you to counselling and how we might work together.
